After talking with doctors and therapists, I began to realize that decades of "saving myself" had subconsciously convinced me that sex was actually bad, something to be avoided and not thought about.
And now that it was "good," my body didn't know what to do, because it had spent so many years not letting itself get too excited around members of the opposite sex. In fact, Vaginismus can be caused by, "Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching i. and inadequate sex education.
As I came to a more realistic understanding of the difficult road ahead if I wanted to overcome my diagnosis, I fell deeper and deeper into depression, ever more convinced of my utter failure as a woman and as a wife.
My friends were not any more helpful after the wedding than they were before the wedding.
I can't really blame them, though. What do you say to someone who's been waiting their whole life to experience such a basic human need, and now isn't physically able to do so?
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It's hard to find words to address such a challenging situation. As I fought to find time on the calendar and money in the budget for daily physical therapy and weekly counseling, I found myself becoming enraged with everyone around me - my husband, my family, my friends, and most of all, God. I had worked so hard to remain a virgin for my husband, and now that I was married I was rewarded with nothing but stress and anxiety. Sadly, I'm not alone.
In reaching out and sharing my story more, I am realizing that this problem and others like it are vastly common in the Christian church. We spend so much time teaching teenagers to avoid intimate interactions, that by the time they're married they've been conditioned to react against intimacy. The "S-word" sex is completely taboo in many, many Christian circles. Kids are told to avoid it until they're married, and that's very often the end of the conversation.
What if we started speaking as frankly about sex as our secular counterparts do? What if we talked frankly about the mechanics and the pleasure of sex?
What if we shared amusing tales of awkward first times? What if we candidly discussed the psychological effects that sex has on your brain?
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I'm not saying that pastors should start preaching this stuff from the pulpit. There is a time and a place for everything, and I don't think all of these nitty gritty details are appropriate there.
But they are appropriate to discuss in Christian circles - with mentors, in discipleship groups, or with trusted friends.
If Christians truly believe that sex is a gift from God to married couples, it's time they started talking about this gift in more than hushed tones and cryptic euphemisms. If I had to do it again, I still would have waited.
For all of my struggles, I do not regret being raised in a Christian home, and I still have a strong faith. But I would have encouraged - and even demanded - open conversations about the many good cts of sex and intimacy, rather than being told over and over again to simply avoid it until marriage.
When i met my wife i was a virgin as a male i wanted to "save" myself for the right girl. I met my wife but she was not a virgin and she was honest about After Staying a Virgin Until Marriage, I Couldn't Have Sex With My Husband. I didn't even kiss him until we were at the altar. Growing up in a Christian home, I was Estimated Reading Time: 8 mins My girl is beautiful, and when she told me she was a virgin, I couldnt believe it. But I told her I did. When we first had sex, her cherry didnt pop, her vagina was
When you're a teenager, the "until marriage" part is easy to get lost, leaving you with a warped and unhealthy view of intimacy. If I had to do it again, I would have asked for a more balanced perspective.
I would have made sure that I was fully informed so that I could truly make my choice on my own, rather than just doing what I was told. Product Reviews.
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My wife and I were raised as devoted Christians and we both have had some leadership positions in the churches we have attended to. That is why it was so important
Even at certain point in our honeymoon in the middle of sex something slipped out of her comparing me and I was so surprised that I stopped and ask her how it was possible for her to know that.
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My wife black vergin
Most Discussed Viewed. Top agony aunts. About Us. I let it go for years and now we have two children now but I could not forget that feeling that she had sexual experience.
I finally confronted her and asked her if she had ever been with another man. After denying it and crying for a while, she finally accepted that she lost her virginity to another man while we were dating.
Check out our my wife black selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops My wife's first reaction was stunned disbelief, as was mine. Then she turned away and covered her mouth, trying to stifle any sobs. Thoughts and emotions more Estimated Reading Time: 4 mins Having issues connecting your device to your WiFi? Mobile/Desktop only wrapper - from Large breakpoint - to No limit breakpoint. Having issues connecting your
To make it worst, that man was her boss and several people in her job knew they were sleeping together while she was dating me.
She said the first time they went to the movies after work and when they were getting into her car, he kissed her and ask her to go to the back seat with him. She told him she could not do it because she had a boyfriend but he continued to insist and she did not know why she could not resist, so she agreed and entered into the back seat.
He started to kiss her and fondle her breasts After that time, they continued to have sex 2 or 3 times per week in motels close to their work.
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Sometimes after leaving the motel she would go out with me to have dinner. I never suspected she had been spreading her legs to another man just an hour before meeting with me.
She said she stopped the affair when she realized she loved me and she did not want to lose me. She claimed this last time was just one month before I proposed and she accepted.
She said she never had sex with him again either while we were engaged or when we were married. My problem is that I do not believe she stopped seeing him.
He was her boss and she continued to work with him during our engagement and during our first year of marriage until we moved to another city.