Masturbation is a completely normal thing to do. It doesn't cause physical harm, pose a health risk, or mean your child is going to turn into a sex maniac.
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Masturbation in young children isn't sexual as it is for adults because young children don't know what sex is. And although explicit sex play in older children is often a tip-off to sexual abuse or exposure to inappropriate sexual material, this is extremely unlikely to be the case with young children.
They simply don't have the imaginative skills for this kind of behavior. A young child who's been sexually abused is more likely to become withdrawn or suddenly have trouble sleeping.
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That said, young children masturbate because it feels good, and the good feelings can be as pleasurable for her as they are for adults. But it's absolutely not something to be worried about. Of course, just like anything else, when it comes to masturbation too much of a good thing may indicate a problem.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, if your child masturbates constantly or excessively, it may be a sign she's feeling anxious, emotionally overwhelmed, or isn't getting enough attention at home. If you think this may be the case, check in with her doctor for advice.
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Ignore it. You may have already told your child that some of her parts are private, and that only she, her parents, or a doctor may touch them. Many parents attempt to explain privacy to children as a way to head off sexual abuse, and it seems logical to extend this concept to masturbation.
But it may not sink in for your child. Distract her.
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Even though you know it's normal and lots of children do it, you'll probably still be embarrassed if your child starts masturbating in front of company. If you can't ignore it or laugh it off, distraction is your best bet. Masturbation is a lot like nose-picking - she does it because she's bored, because her hands are free, and because she can. If your child's hands stray toward her crotch at inopportune moments in front of your in-laws, for example keep a toy close by to give her instead.
Invite her to do a puzzle, play with blocks, or toss a ball around - anything that keeps her hands out of her pants. Look to yourself.
Parents' reactions to masturbation may pose the greatest danger for kids. If your child is made to feel guilty for exploring her body, or made to feel that what she's doing is dirty or naughty, she may associate sexual or pleasurable feelings with guilt and shame.
Lots of people grow up with conflicting feelings about sex, and finding a place where you can talk these feelings through with other adults will help you handle these issues now and in the future. BabyCenter's editorial team is committed to providing the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information in the world.
When creating and ating content, we rely on credible sources: respected health organizations, professional groups of doctors and other experts, and published studies in peer-reviewed journals. We believe you should always know the source of the information you're seeing.
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Learn more about our editorial and medical review policies. American Academy of Pediatrics. Mayo Clinic.
Sex education: Talking to toddlers and preschoolers about sex. Nemours Foundation. Understanding early sexual development. Join now to personalize. You only have to visit the student districts of Nairobi, one recent graduate told the BBC, to see how pervasive the sponsor culture has become.
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Until recently there was no data to indicate how many young Kenyan women are involved in sugar relationships. But this year the Busara Centre for Behavioural Economics conducted a study for BBC Africa in which they questioned female university students between the ages of 18 and The sample size was small and the study was not fully randomised, so the results only give an indication of the possible numbers, they cannot be taken as definitive.
Also, only a small percentage openly admitted to having a sugar daddy; the researchers were able to infer that a number were hiding the truth from answers they gave to other questions, using a technique called list randomisation. Jane, a year-old Kenyan undergraduate who readily admits to having two sponsors, sees nothing shameful in such relationships - they are just part of the everyday hustle that it takes to survive in Nairobi, she says.
She also insists that her relationships with Tom and Jeff, both married, involve friendship and intimacy as well as financial exchange. It's like they just want company, they want someone to talk to," she says.
She says that her religious parents brought her up with traditional values, but she has made her own choices. One of her motives, she says, is to be able to support her younger sisters, so they won't need to rely on men for money. But she has also been inspired by Kenya's celebrity "socialites" - women who have transformed sex appeal into wealth, becoming stars of social media. Among them are the stars of the reality TV show Nairobi Diaries, Kenya's own blend of Keeping up with the Kardashians and The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
The show has launched several socialites out of Nairobi's slums and on to yachts off the coast of Malibu or the Mediterranean. If I look hot, I look good, there has got be some rich guy who will pay good money to possess me," says Oyunga Pala, Nairobi columnist and social commentator. The best known of the Kenyan socialites is probably Vera Sidika, who went from dancing in music videos on to the set of the Nairobi Diaries, and from there launched a business career based on her fame and her physique.
Mom's gotta go! Thanks for the footrest. First feeding "Here is a picture of me breastfeeding my fourth child during my c-section. I was still cut open on the operating table! They were in the process of stapling me back together. I demanded that I feed my daughter as soon as she The relationship and sex is unequaled, and our spouses like the essence we come home afterward with as it lasts for months. My sister's husband will actually say to her, "You need to visit with your brother again, and soon!" My wife is totally okay with it too. She says it takes the pressure off her as well, especially as she is now older and she just doesn't have the libido she used to have A mom captured the chaos that ensued when she tried to take a shower, and the horrifying footage is going viral. Mom and TikToker Sadie Jane (@simplysadiejane) gained over million views and
Nowadays, Vera is keen to promote herself as an entrepreneur, and runs a successful brand of "detox" herbal infusions called Veetox Tea. Equally famous is model and socialite Huddah Monroe, who also rose to fame on reality TV - in her case Big Brother Africa, in - and who now runs a well-established line of cosmetics.
In the past, some of Kenya's socialites have styled themselves as SlayQueens, and have been quite upfront about the financial benefits that have come from dating tycoons.
Having made it to the top, though, they often begin to cultivate a different image - presenting themselves as independent, self-made businesswomen and encouraging Kenyan girls to work hard and stay in school. The millions of fans scrolling through their Instagram posts, though, are not blind.
The sudden emphasis on entrepreneurship does not hide the fact that these women used their sex appeal to create opportunities in the first place. And many - quite understandably - are attempting to apply this methodology to their own lives.
One of those who has succeeded is Bridget Achieng, a woman from the sprawling Nairobi slum of Kibera, who worked as a domestic servant - a house girl - but who gained a social media following on the back of a sexy photoshoot, and then found her way on to the cast of Nairobi Diaries. Her message to aspiring socialites, though, is that nothing is free. If one end of the sugar spectrum features young women with their sights set on a hot pink Range Rover, a luxury condo and first-class tickets to Dubai, at the other are women angling for little more than some mobile phone credit and maybe a lunch at Java coffee house.
Na which young girl no dey fear hunger?
Dr Rebekah Eglinton, chief psychologist for - organicherbie.com Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse, told the programme unwanted touching, as well as being pressured into sharing nude photos, had become a SEX AND THE SUGAR DADDY. In Kenya, more and more young women are using sugar daddies to fund a lifestyle worth posting on social media. Transactional sex was once driven by poverty, says film
The desire not to go hungry and the desire to taste the good life can easily run side by side. And the fortunes of a woman dependent on a sponsor can change in an instant - either for better or worse. Grace, a year-old single mum from northern Nairobi, has a regular sponsor, but is actively seeking a more lucrative relationship with a man who will invest in her career as a singer.
She is poor by the standards of middle-class Kenyans, often living hand-to-mouth, dancing for cash in a nightclub, and struggling to put her daughter through school. But her determination to feed and educate her child coexists with a naked ambition to become rich and famous through modelling and music.
Is she driven more by vanity or poverty, aspiration or desperation? The lines are blurred. Both Grace and Jane have come of age in the last decade, bombarded since childhood with images of female status built on sex appeal. But according to Crystal Simeoni, an expert on gender and economic policy, Kenyan society encourages sugar relationships in other ways too.
If women have become more willing to profit financially from their youth and beauty, she says, it's partly because of Kenya's gross economic inequalities, lack of social mobility, and widespread corruption. Hard work won't get them anywhere.
Michael Soi, a well-known artist whose paintings satirise Kenya's culture of transactional sex, takes a similar but more cynical view, attributing the phenomenon more to laziness and a get-rich-quick mentality than to structural injustice. The days of waking up early and working from morning to night are behind us, he says: "Right now the ass is the new brain, and this is what you use to get what you want.
George Paul Meiu, who studies transactional relationships between men of Kenya's Samburu tribe and older European women, has described how their youth and good looks have become valuable commodities in Kenya's beach resorts. Thanks to a set of "African warrior" stereotypes and myths about tribal sexual prowess, the Samburu and others like them are particularly appealing to both local and foreign sugar mummies.
Some Samburu villages, he says, claim they have been unable to defend themselves against cattle raids from neighbouring tribes because so many young men have migrated to the coast to become beach boys. But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health.
Kerubo, a year-old from Kisii in Western Kenya, maintains that she has control of her relationship with her sugar daddy, Alfred. But when I ask her about safe sex, this illusion quickly evaporates.
Both Alfred and her other sponsor, James, prefer not to use condoms, she says. In fact she has had uorganicherbie.comotected sex with multiple sugar daddies, who then have sex with other women, as well as with their wives, exposing all of these partners to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
Dr Joyce Wamoyi from the National Institute for Medical Research in Tanzania says girls and young women between the ages of 15 and 24 have consistently been at higher risk of HIV infection than any other section of the population in sub-Saharan Africa. Sugar relationships, she says, are contributing to these risks because the women who engage in them do not have the power to insist on the use of condoms.
It doesn't cause physical harm, pose a health risk, or mean your child is going to turn into a sex maniac. Masturbation in young children isn't sexual (as it is for adults) because young children don't know what sex is. And although explicit sex play in older children is often a tip-off to sexual abuse or exposure to inappropriate sexual material, this is extremely unlikely to be the case with I am visiting for the first time in mid August for 2 weeks with my partner and my 2 children, a girl aged 12 and a boy who has just turned My partner is an experienced nudist, me and the kids less so, although we have been to a quite nudist beach a couple of times. Whilst excited about the My mother heard me scream when he performed oral sex on me and banged on the door. He let her in, she grabbed his arm and said "you, you" in a shaking voice. He told her to leave the room, she did, and then he did the rest of the stuff to me. I believe she listened to him because he had verbally and physically abused her for over thirteen years and that messed her up in the head. My dad also
A look at the Kenyan tabloids also suggests that women are at risk of violence from their sponsors. It's not hard to find headlines such as "Stabbed to death by a man who has been funding her university education," "Kenyan 'sponsor' threatens lover, posts COFFINS on Facebook and she DIES afterwards," "Pretty Year-Old Girl Killed By Her Sugar Daddy. Jackie Phamotse, a South African businesswoman who survived an abusive relationship with a "blesser", described her experiences in a tell-all book, Bare: The Blesser's Game.
Most young women, she says, are not aware of the dangers.