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Thank you for your cooperation. The Mod Team. A mother with guilt by sparklybutterfly Sat Mar 07, pm Hello out there I'm hoping that someone has any suggestions to a problem that I have.
I had ended a relationship that I thought was going to be good for all involved but it turned out to be something else. Something that you don't hear people talk about or people whisper it and do nothing about it.
I tried to do something about it but failed. Here is my problem: I was living with someone whom I thought loved me and my 2 kids but in the end no one really matters even his 2 daughters.
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Only he matters to himself. You see I had always suspected that something wasn't right between him and his daughters.
Well just to be clear the one thing he did say about the panties was who is coming into the house to have sex with his daughter. Maybe we should get cameras. John did say that and then that was it. Well it took only one time of me going to bring my son to school and Video: Fourth man is arrested in horrific Queens sex attack: Twenty-year-old is charged with 'forcing a woman, 50, to perform oral sex at gun point' just half a block away from her church The claustrophobic village setting is taken to extremes in this story. There is one room, which is both a kitchen and the mother's room, in a cramped croft-cottage, where mother and son live
There were odd things like the way he would hold them and he would say every daughter wants to marry their father. How he would go in their bedroom and stay in there for a while.
There are other things but this will be too long. This has been very hard for me to understand.
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I am a woman who works in the Sheriffs Office and is in uniform. I take my job very seriously and try to do the right things.
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He too works in the Sheriffs Office and is a Sergeant. I saw him sexually abuse his 15 year old daughter and my son saw this as well. Not a day doesn't go by without me seeing these visions that at the time seem surreal but were real.
I went to the local Police Department. They looked into it but the daughter will not talk. Is there anything I can do to stop this very sad situation.
I am carrying around a lot of guilt. I need some suggestions if anyone can understand me. Re: A mother with guilt by sparklybutterfly Sun Mar 08, pm This has been a very difficult thing to deal with and I really do not know where to turn. There is so much more to this story. When I had asked I will call him John "How is it a father can get his daughter to do things with the father willingly?
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I'm getting upset right now I will continue this later. It's possible that they might be able to help, even if it's just to make the father aware that people are watching and paying attention.
it might stop the abuse. What I do know from my own experience of being abused by my father is that it's incredibly complicated. I hated mine but wanted him to love me as well and I was brought up in an environment where family were put first.
Loyalty to the family was the most important thing. to me at the time, it was beyond unthinkable.
What i would really have appreciated more than anything is someone. anyone to be there that i could speak to and that would simply listen. To know that someone out there cared about me would have meant the world. Perhaps you could keep in touch with the daughter and make it clear to her that no matter what, if she ever needs you - she can just call you and you'll be there.
Re: A mother with guilt by sparklybutterfly Mon Mar 09, pm Thank you for your response. Sorry for your situation as well. I know the older daughter she is 19 now she is seeking help but is still not talking to authorities. I think she will someday I hope sooner than later.
This is very hard to understand I am trying my best. I am living with a lot of guilt though because I think I handled it wrong because of fear and I'm ashamed to say even embarrassment.
We both are in law enforcement. I have since gone to seek help as well.
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I did not contact CPS myself but someone else did. Others suspected this problem. It runs out I was not the only one. The saddest of all is we all think the mother knows and is possibly a participant. Like I said there is a lot more to this father. I'm talking law enforcement, psychologists, and other professional people. Through my research of John his daughters are not the only recipients of his abuse.
He should not be wearing a uniform or badge in my opinion. I take what we do seriously.
So yes I am embarrassed and appalled. Again so sorry for what had happened to you.
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I hope someday I can help those 2 girls and anyone else. You don't realize how much of a secret this is or how many victims there are until your in it.
Re: A mother with guilt by sparklybutterfly Thu Mar 12, pm I'm still hoping for something to happen with the other daughter who is 15 and still lives with John. The mother lives somewhere else. But this daughter seems to enjoy what they are doing. They pose in photos like husband and wife not father and daughter. They sleep together and he has taught her to be very quiet when they are doing something. Its is amazing how he has taught her these things. He boasted to me how he could be doing something in the next room and you will never know.
what made me suspicious about his relationship with his younger daughter was when they were sitting at the dining table after they hung out in kitchen for a while mind you being very quiet. John went right to the computer and just stared into space while she seemed disturbed. All this time me and my son were sitting on couch in the den where you can hear them making some noise.
Then she made an odd statement "you know Dad I figured out something I am picking up from Tully left off. Now I look back 2 months after the older daughter broke it off with him on her 18th birthday.
You know the marriage. A monetary transaction then took place with the ex wife the girls mother. Then it began with the 14 year old daughter. That is what she meant when she said I'm picking up from where Tully left off.
I just want to say this sounds absurd but is very true and very disturbing. I need help with this and so does the daughters. Like I said there is a lot to this story.
You couldn't pay me enough money to make this up. I said it earlier even I lived it and it still seems surreal. But these things are still happening. I still hope and pray that justice will be done. There is more. Re: A mother with guilt by sparklybutterfly Sat Mar 14, am Sorry for venting but I have told a handful of people about my problem and dilemma. I try to keep busy so that I may forget but the visions never leave my mind.
The visions of John sexually abusing his younger daughter. You see I said before I had suspected something strange was going on.
I will call her Emily not her real name for the sake of my telling this. Yet she also asks about the farm work, and she is the only person he can talk to about this. Sometimes he lashes out verbally, and angrily with the reflex of the wounded but his words lose their import, their impact and their usefulness. Violence almost breaks out when he approaches his mother in a turmoil of hate but, faced with her vulnerability when sleeping, he turns away, perhaps accepting his misery.
His rage subsides. Instead, he gazes out at the world.
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Her vulnerability is stressed in the final moment- John cannot attack her as she lies:. Both John and his mother are trapped, she by illness, he by her manipulation and control. His loyalty and self-sacrifice have been ruthlessly exploited. Her harsh criticism destroys his self-esteem and spirit. The house has become their prison.
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